The Magic Pudding

Author: Norman Lindsay

At last! I completed the 2010 Global Reading Challenge in the nick of time. and after searching high and low, I had to resort to an eBook on Project Gutenberg for my Australasian material. What I found was this delightful children's tale first published in 1918.

The story revolves around Bunyip Bluegum, a koala bear who decides to travel the world as a Gentleman of Leisure. Since all he took with him was a walking stick, by lunchtime he was feeling rather peckish and sorry for himself until he chanced upon Bill Barnacle and Sam Sawnoff having lunch. It turned out that their lunch was a steak-n-kidney pudding that, no matter how much of it you ate, always became whole again. With thin arms and legs and a basin for a hat, the pudding was a rude fellow who insisted on being eaten, and so Bunyip was invited to share the meal.

Afterwards the trio travelled together, when they were met by a couple of Pudding Thieves, a Possum and a Wombat. Bunyip kept the pudding from running away by sitting on it, while the Pudding Owners fought off the thieves. Having helped them save the pudding, Bunyip was invited to become a member of the Noble Society of Pudding Owners.

As the Pudding Owners continued on their travels, they were accosted several times by the Thieves, either in disguise or by some other form of trickery. They were also joined by an market gardener - a dog named Benjimen, from whom the Thieves stole a bag that they used to trick the Pudding Owners.

When they finally reached the town of Tooraloo, again they got into a fight with the Pudding Thieves (who were wearing top-hats and coat-tails), hence attracting the attention of the Mayor and the Constable. In an attempt to restore some order to the town, the Mayor declared to the Constable,

"It's very clear that somebody has to be arrested," said the Mayor. "I can't be put to the trouble of wearing my robes of office in public without somebody having to pay for it. I don't care whether you arrest the top-hat batterers, or the battered top-hatterers; all I say is, do your duty, whatever happens—

"So somebody, no matter who,
You must arrest or rue it;
As I'm the Mayor of Tooraloo,
And you've the painful job to do,
I call on you to do it."

upon which the Constable decided to arrest the pudding. They were all then marched off to court for a trial, only to find the Judge and the court Usher indulging in some port and playing cards. The Judge decides to have the pudding for lunch, so Bunyip suggested they try the case themselves, with Bill as prosecutor.

During the proceedings, Bunyip declared that the pudding had been poisoned, therefore astounding the Judge who had already taken seven slices.

"If," said the Usher, in a quavering voice—

"If you take a poisoned Puddin'
And that poisoned Puddin' chew,
The sensations that you suffer
I should rather say were due
To the poison in the Puddin'
In the act of Poisoning You.
And I think the fact suffices
Through this dreadfulest of crimes,
As you've eaten seven slices
You've been poisoned seven times."

"It was your idea having it up on the bench," said the Judge, angrily, to the Usher. "Now,

"If what you say is true,
That idea you'll sadly rue,
The poison I have eaten is entirely due to you.
It's by taking your advice
That I've had my seventh slice,
So I'll tell you what I'll do
You unmitigated Jew,
As a trifling satisfaction,
Why, I'll beat you black and blue,"

and with that he hit the Usher a smart crack on the head with a port bottle.

A commotion began, and in the midst of that melee our Bunyip, his friends and the pudding got away. Finally, as they were pretty close up to the end of the book, they decide to stop wandering and live in a tree house in Benjimen's garden.

This was a lovely, lighthearted book to read, interspersed with songs and rhymes, served in four slices instead of chapters. I can't help thinking, though, that you could look at it from a satirical point of view (especially the events in the town of Tooraloo) and wonder whether it is a reflection of greed and corruption in the administration and judiciary of a government.

In Other Rooms, Other Wonders

Author: Daniyal Mueenuddin

Originally I had intended to read a book by Orhan Pamuk, until my sister pointed out that Turkey is a European country (silly me, the term Asia Minor may have misled me). So we spent an evening at MPH looking for books from the South Asian subcontinent to make up the fifth entry for this Challenge. Books by Chinese and Indian authors I have already read, so this piece of work from Pakistan was something of a discovery.

This book is actually an anthology of 8 tales, interlinked in that they all revolve around the being and belongings of K.K. Harouni, an ancestral landowner from Punjab. However, he is the main character in only one story (the titular In Other Rooms, Other Wonders), where he falls for a servant girl and makes her his mistress. In other stories, he is part of the background - the benevolent employer of an army of servants, the rich uncle of a Western-educated nephew whose name is dropped into the conversation.

Most of the stories are about clandestine relationships - there were a couple that seemed to have the same plot, of a lowly woman having an affair with someone above her station, hoping it would give her a better life but, sadly, dismissed at the end. The rich don't seem to have it any better - the glitz and decadence doing little to give them true everlasting happiness. If there was any moral sermonising to be attached to these stories, the message would be to lead a chaste and honourable life - affairs will get you nowhere. The only story where the protagonist emerged somewhat victorious is Nawabdin Electrician - but then he only ever cheated the utilities company.

By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Author: Paulo Coelho

The story is about Pilar who is reconciled with her childhood sweetheart after 10 years. During that period he has travelled and rediscovered religion, and when they meet again he is spreading a message on the feminine face of God.

He invites her to travel with him to France, where he confesses to love her. Despite her earlier resolve, Pilar finds herself reciprocating his feelings, and rediscovers her faith. She also discovers that he has a gift of curing the sick with his hands and is determined to spend the rest of her life as his companion in spreading his gift and the message of the Goddess. He, on the other hand, thinks that Pilar would rather have a normal life with a normal job, and so gives up his gift. It is this that brings Pilar to sit and weep by the river Piedra.

This book is touted as a story about love and the miracle of love. I think it is more about communication, or the different expectations of love and the result of not properly communicating that expectation. Pilar is willing to change her life to fulfill her lover's dreams and help him realise his potential. He (we never know his name), on the other hand, is willing to give up his ambition so that Pilar can continue with her everyday life, as he thinks all she wants in life is to settle down. He does not understand why she is upset rather than feel flattered by his sacrifice.

But isn't Pilar behaving in a truly womanly way? What female doesn't want to be the woman behind the successful man? The ambition and potential is what she loves most about him - reminding me of Renee Zellweger's lines in Jerry Maguire: "I love him for the man he wants to be and the man he almost is."

There was another idea I found more interesting in the book, where a priest relates an experiment in which a group of monkeys are taught to wash their bananas before eating them. The scientist conducting the experiment found out that other groups of monkeys began to do the same thing without ever coming into contact with the first group. The priest describes this as the world having a soul - when a certain number of the species knows something, the whole species will know it too. Malcolm Gladwell would call this The Tipping Point.

Disgrace

Author: J. M Coetzee

"For a man his age, fifty-two, divorced, he has, to his mind, solved the problem of sex rather well." Thus we are introduced to David Lurie, a Communications professor at a technical university in Cape Town. And throughout the book, although it is written in the third person, it is very much written from Lurie’s perspective.

We first get to know Lurie from his scheduled visits to a prostitute named Soraya, who he stops meeting after he sees her with her children. He then seduces his student, Melanie, whose father lodges a sexual harassment complaint to the university, forcing Lurie to resign and retreat to his daughter Lucy’s farm, where she grows flowers and cares for dogs. He suspects her of being a lesbian and not too pleased with her lack of care for her appearance.

In an attempt to rekindle his relationship with Lucy, he gets to know her neighbours, including Petrus, who helps out at the farm. Another neighbour is a lady, Bev Shaw who runs an animal clinic. He finds her unattractive but has an affair with her.

One day three black strangers show up at the farm, asking to make a telephone call. Lurie is locked inside a bathroom and put on fire while his daughter is gang-raped. Later Lurie discovers that one of the rapists is related to Petrus, who was away when the attack happened. He thinks Petrus intentionally allowed the hoodlums to attack Lucy as a way of asserting his growing authority in the area. Lurie urges his daughter to leave the country, but she stubbornly refuses, and when she discovers she is pregnant, decides to keep the baby. Although unhappy about this, Lurie comes to accept her decision and eventually reconciles with her.

Throughout most of the book Lurie comes across as an arrogant intellectual who thinks he is too good for the modern world and can do no wrong, a remnant of the colonial times. He is condescending even when admitting his guilt to the academic committee, claiming to be a servant of Eros acting upon his rights of desire. His relationships with women are merely a means to satisfy his need for sex. The only situation in which he truly cares for someone was also the only time he could not act upon it, which was the attack on Lucy. This event, and those that follow, makes him realise that he is losing his place in the world, that he is no longer a mover and shaker in the world.

In the end Lurie accepts his fate, his fall from grace. As he carries a dog he has grown attached to into Bev’s clinic to be put to sleep, he tells her that, “Yes, I am giving him up.”

The White Queen

Author: Philippa Gregory

This is Book Two of my 2010 Global Reading Challenge. After 'The Virgin's Lover', I was almost ready to give up reading Philippa Gregory, but am glad that I changed my mind to pick up this book.

This is the story of Elizabeth Woodville, the widowed mother of two boys who sets her heart upon the young King of the House of York. It is a story based on historical facts interwoven with magical folklore, and paints the White Queen as an ambitious woman whose ambitions stem from her devotion and duty as a wife, sister, daughter and mother.

The book starts with the legend of Melusina, a water goddess who marries a mortal man but later leaves him when he breaks his promise to her.

The tragedy of Melusina, whatever language tells it, whatever tune it sings, is that a man will always promise more than he can do to a woman he cannot understand.

With this as the introduction, I was lead to believe that Elizabeth Woodville was somehow jilted or betrayed by her husband, but this was not the case. Twice, Elizabeth outlived her husbands, and although King Edward was not a saint, he loved her dearly and hardly gave her cause for concern as to where his affections lay. There were only two occasions where Elizabeth had doubts of his commitment: after their secret marriage was ridiculed by her brother Anthony, and during the birth of one of her children when the King kept a mistress. The mistress, however, admitted to Elizabeth later that the King only ever really loved the Queen.

The story of Melusina is told in bits and pieces, scattered throughout the main story of Queen Elizabeth and the Wars of the Roses (or the Cousins' War), as a homage to the queen's ancestry. Through her mother, Jacquetta, Elizabeth Woodville is a descendant of the water goddess, whose sons become the Dukes of Burgundy and daughters inherit the Sight. It is this mystical link also that is played up through Jacquetta and Elizabeth's characters where they dabble in some spells, allegedly whistling up storms, mists and rain to help them in their cause.

I found this book interesting to read mainly because I don't know much about the Wars of the Roses, and even less about Elizabeth Woodville. She was depicted as a woman of great beauty - and fertile too, giving King Edward three princes and six princesses in addition to her two older boys. Sadly two of her royal children died in early childhood, and the two remaining princes are famous for mysteriously disappearing while they were held in the Tower of London under the 'protection' of their usurping uncle, Richard III. Gregory puts her own spin to this mystery, which I find quite plausible.

Typical of historical fiction about royal families, the book is rife with plots, traitors and battles. There is less scandal than The Other Boleyn Girl (or at least not as outrageously depicted) and not as saccharine sweet as The Constant Princess. There are enough events and interesting characters to keep me interested right till the cliffhanger ending, and I am keen to find out how she wraps it up in the other two books of this series. As Elizabeth says to herself,

As if I think we can ever be an ordinary family. We are Plantagenets. How could we be ordinary?

Up in the Air

Author: Walter Kirn

This is the movie tie-in edition, although I have yet to watch the movie. As the movie made it to the Oscars, I figured the book must be worth a read.

The story is narrated by the protagonist, Ryan Bingham. He is a Career Transition Counselor - a coach for people who get fired. He is about to clock one million frequent flyer miles on his company's account, and plans to resign shortly after achieving this personal target.

"To Know me you have to fly with me." Thus Bingham invites us to join him on a marathon trip over 9 cities in 6 days that will make him the 10th person to reach the coveted mark. The trip is supposed to end in his hometown where he is to attend his younger sister's third wedding.

The story starts with Bingham expounding the features of Airworld and his career. You get the feeling it's not the sensation of flying he enjoys, but the experience of the different airports, the business lounge and the passing relationships with people he meets both on and off the ground. Any semblance to a more longlasting bond with another human being seems to unnerve him, as is evident in his conversations with and about his family. At the same time, the book shows Bingham's growing disillisionment with his job and the people he looks up to, be they management mentors or finance gurus.

Ultimately, Bingham is a lonely figure who uses his pursuit of air points to distract himself from his sad, empty life. By the end of the book, he realises he doesn't want all those points anyway, despite his earlier obsession with them. A bit like when you buy something you've been saving money for and find out it's not really worth all that.

And that's kinda how I feel about this book. The premise was interesting enough, and the back cover is scattered with good reviews on how it "deliciously lambastes corporate America" and rivals anything by John Grisham. But it doesn't really have much action and not so much a lambasting - it felt more like a half-hearted slap that missed its mark. Halfway through Bingham is called in by his family to search for his missing sister, and that's where Bingham, or rather Kirn, starts losing it. Events that were building up throughout the plot seem to be easily dismissed in the end - the business parable he was writing, his speech at GoalQuest, the dream job at MythTech, even the million airmiles.

Or maybe that is the intention of the author, to show the futility of it all as we run along in this rat race. Pretty depressing for anyone with a career.

I'm now looking forward to the movie, more than before I read the book. I've read that it's better than the book, or at least different. Let's just hope it's not as sad. Otherwise I really need to perk myself up with a Judith Mcknaught historical romp.

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My other bedside reading stack

No, I have not finished the previous stack yet. I just have a different collection at my mum's house in DU.

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My current bedside table

New Books to Read

I'm addicted to MPH Online. My latest set of books arrived:

1. Up in the Air (Movie Tie-in Edition)
2. What the Dog Saw
3. A Taste of the Miracle of Juice
4. Saladin And The Fall Of The Kingdom Of Jerusalem
5. The White Queen

I wonder which one I'll read first...

2010 Global Reading Challenge

I've decided to join a reading challenge. Read about this one here.

All I need is to find an author from each continent. Seems easy, but the only African author I know of is Ben Okri. A friend gave me 'The Famished Road' as a birthday present, and at the time I did not particularly enjoy it. However, I'm willing to give him another try. Just like I've outgrown Feist, I may find myself growing into Okri this time round.

After some searching on the Internet, I ordered a few books from MPH Online.

So my list goes like this:

• Africa - JM Coetzee (South Africa): Disgrace
• Asia - Orhan Pamuk (Turkey): The Museum of Innocence
• North America - Walter Kirn (USA): Up in the Air
• Europe - Philippa Gregory (UK): The White Queen
• Australasia - none so far. The only Australian books I could find on MPH were either children, teen or cookery books from Australian Women's Weekly.
• South America - haven't started searching yet. I'll probably pick Isabel Allende or Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Although, with Coetzee now being an Australian resident, Gregory actually born in Kenya and Pamuk teaching in US, it all gets to be a big mix-up. So I'll do my challenge based on the locale of the plot, which is more consistent with the above.

The hunt for Australasian books continues...

A Darkness at Sethanon

Author: Raymond E Feist

This is the final book in the Riftwar Saga series. I'm sure I've read the books before, as the characters' names are somewhat familiar, although I can't quite remember the plots. But I was in the mood for dragons and elves, so this seemed right up my alley.

This book has it all - dragons, elves, magicians and an assortment of all creatures good and evil. There's also a bit of time- and space-travelling, jumping about to different worlds and universes.

It starts with an attempt to murder Arutha, the Prince of Krondor during a royal Festival. Forces of evil are gathering in large numbers to prepare for war, but the real motive and target of the Enemy is unknown to the good guys. Pug the magician and his friend Tomas (the guy on the book cover) travel in search of Macros the Black to seek the answers that will save their world from destruction.

Of course, the good guys win in the end, after long hard-fought battles that culminate in a grand showdown in Sethanon. There's a lot of action, a bit of politics, a very fine sprinkling of romance in the mix as well. So it should please a lot of fantasy fans who don't already know Feist.

Sadly, I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I don't think I've outgrown the fantasy genre per se - rather, I think I've outgrown Feist. He does a great job describing the swordfighting, battles, castles and travelling through the mountains - to a point where I couldn't really understand his descriptions due to my limited vocabulary in those areas (what's the difference between a barbican and a bailey?), but not so much on the character. Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of characters in the book, but I get the feeling that Feist assumes we know them well enough that only a caricaturistic description suffices.

In the end, I could not really connect with any of them. I think I'll stick with Pratchett and Gaiman in future.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists

Author: Gideon Defoe

This was such a great read! Thanks, Ain, for lending it to me!

The year is 1838 in the West Indies. The Pirate Captain, worried that his pirates are getting bored of "all that lying on the beach and the native women, wandering about with no tops on" decide to set off on another Adventure. They are informed of a ship called The Beagle, transporting gold bullion from the colonies back to England and decide to attack it, to find that the only treasure on the ship is the young Charles Darwin and his trained Man-Panzee. Determined to assist Darwin in rescuing his brother Erasmus who has been kidnapped by the Bishop of Oxford, they head off to England.

This book is funny with capital F-U-N-N-Y! The Pirate Captain is a debonair man, with a glossy beard, who cannot quite remember the names of his crew but is certainly on target with his Periodic Table (despite the fact that the Table was not invented yet in 1838). Circus freaks, grisly murders, a pirate convention and a science lecture all get thrown into the mix at a laugh a minute.

Apparently Defoe wrote The Pirates to convince a woman to leave her boyfriend for him. She didn't. I'm sure other women will. Just read the note from the Pirate Captain on the back cover:

"Dear Reader,

I'm choosing to picture you as an attractive young woman, about nineteen, perhaps reading this 150 years from now, while in bed wearing just a daring negligee, tanned thighs stretched out on those silk sheets of yours. You're no doubt wondering why the men of your time couldn't be a bit more like the charming piratical rogue writing these words, instead of the monstrous oversized brains they've probably evolved into. Well, what are you waiting for? With your advanced scientific knowledge it's no doubt a cinch to reconstitute me from just a few of my piratical cells, and to this I have stuck a couple of hairs from my glossy beard into the back cover. I take it you still have ham in the future? A nice big ham waiting for me would be a treat."

Aku Terima Nikahnya

Author: Hasrizal Abdul Jamil @ Abu Saif

Surah al-Furqan, verse 74:

"And those who pray: "Oh Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

This book, I think, is a collection of the author's blog entries and articles. He relates how he 'met' his wife, the early years of marriage in Ireland all the way to the current situation with 3 kids and living in KL. With reference to the verse above, he stresses that one must first strengthen one's own righteousness (Taqwa) before leading the righteous.

The author also cautions and admonishes young Muslims who prefer long-term courtships, and reminds that the period of engagement in Islam does not give the same freedom in relationship as marriage. However, he does so in an easy manner that draws you in instead of pushing you away, unlike some 'holier-than-thou' preachers. In between, he shares some points from various talks he has given, as well as the strange questions he sometimes gets from the audience ("How many times are you allowed to SMS your fiance?").

One can also easily relate to him as he is willing to share his own experiences, even his imperfections and mistakes. The author also shows his openness to Western sources of reference: John Gray's 'Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus' and Dr Miriam Stoppard get more than a mention. It is this openness that makes his material so approachable.

In some chapters, he reflects on his parents and his upbringing; in others, he shares with us his thoughts and doubts on his own parenting abilities. Some chapters are hilarious yet enlightening anecdotes of his offspring. In one chapter, the author is telling the story of Sang Kancil to his children, and end the story by saying how clever the mousedeer of Malay folklore is. However, his eldest son, Yop, reacts by saying Sang Kancil is bad, as the animal lies and abuses other animals to get his own way.

Another story that really touched me was when he was on an overseas trip and called home to speak to his family. Yop says that he misses his father, and while speaking on the phone holds a photo of the author in his hand. I could not help but recall how Nu'man apparently clutches my photo to sleep whenever I have to travel out of town for a few days (more tears here).

The book basically talks about our roles in the institution of marriage and family: as Husband, Wife and Parents. As he states, his perception of marriage:

"Melihat perkahwinan sebagai medan untuk memberi, akan menjadikan kita lebih memikirkan soal PERANAN dan bukannya HAK yang tidak berkesudahan".

Rindu Bau Pohon Tin

Author: Hasrizal Abdul Jamil @ Abu Saif (http://www.saifulislam.com/)





This book is a memoir of the author's student days in Jordan. It begins with a discourse between the young Hasrizal and his teacher on verse 122 from Surah al-Taubah:


"Nor should the Believers all go forth together: if a contingent from every expedition remained behind, they could devote themselves to studies in religion and admonish the people when they return to them― that thus they (may learn) to guard themselves (against evil)."

The teacher explains to Hasrizal that studying in the way of Allah is similar to going to war:

1. War is difficult.
2. War requires planning.
3. War requires skills.
4. In war you must know your friends and foes.
5. War promises 'Ghanimah' (spoils of war).

Equipped with these words of wisdom, the author travels as one of the first group of students under the 'Rancangan Bersama JPA-Petronas' to Jordan, where he is greeted by the sight of deserts and camels. Throughout the book, he recalls the various lecturers, friends, neighbours and his observations of students and student life in general.

He notes sadly that the wholesome image of Malaysian students deteriprated somewhat with the influx in 1995, as some of them were sent not with pure intentions to study religion, but as a last resort by their parents to 'return to the straight path'. There's an interesting anecdote where he compares the attitude of Malaysian students with those from other countries. A Chinese student, in his efforts to learn the Arabic language, would write an Arabic word on the back of his hand. When asked why not use a notebook instead, the Chinese student replied, "If I write in my book, I may note remember. If I write on my hand, I will be forced to memorize it before performing ablution (wudhu') for Zuhur prayers."

There are many little gems in the book, and its easy style makes reading it a pleasure. Each chapter is a little story or anecdote of its own, so you can always pick it up and read it at your leisure - although I managed to finish it in one go. There are too many wonderful phrases and to quote, but one sentence in relation to preparing for war/studies that I'll post here:

"Kucar-kacir dalam kebenaran, mustahil ada upaya mengalahkan kebatilan yang sistematik."

Sod off, Sudoku!

As I stated before, I will only start on my Reading List after I complete the Sudoku puzzles. Sorry, can't wait!

And I'll start with the Malay travelogue/memoir.

2nd phase Confinement Reading List

Now that I'm into the next 20 days of my 'house arrest', and have finished reading the stash of chick-lit, I'm moving on to more serious stuff. They are:

1. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. I've read it once but somehow the message has not stuck as easily as the other two books did. Maybe the pregnancy hormones were in the way, so I'm giving it another go.
2. Rindu Bau Pohon Tin (Remembering the Scent of Fig Trees - my own translation) by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil, also popularly known as Abu Saif through his website saifulislam.com. It's a retelling of Abu Saif's travels in Jordan, where he went to university. It's in Malay, which normally is a challenge for me, but Abu Saif's style is light and easy enough to make this a breeze.
3. Aku Terima Nikahnya (I Take This Woman - again, my own translation) by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil. This is another autobiographical piece, this time about his experience and perception of marriage. Especially interesting is the fact that the bride is a medical student/doctor in Ireland, and Abu Saif agrees to the marriage without having ever seen her in real life.
4. Putri-putri Sahabat Rasulullah (Daughters of the Prophet's Companions) by Ahmad Khalil Jam'ah. I bought this on a whim, while searching for possible names for the baby. Since Aiesyah was named after the Prophet's closest companion Abu Bakar r.a., I thought it might be a good idea to name the next baby after another daughter. It's written in the typical formal style of a reference book, so this might not be a complete read.
5. Bila Anak-anak Bertanya tentang Allah & Alam Ghaib (When Children ask about Allah & the Unseen) by Muhammad Muhyidin. Again, more of a reference book. Hubby bought this, and left it behind for me to read it. It lists 48 FAQ's and provides the answers, although I've never heard my son ask "Why is the graveyard scary? Are there lots of demons there?"
6. 3 Tokoh Bakal Menakluk Dunia (3 Icons that will Conquer the World) by Ustaz Jaafar bin Salleh. The 3 in question are Al-Mahdi, Dajjal and Prophet Isa Al-Masih. Also bought by Hubby.
7. Panduan Mendidik Anak Perempuan (Guide to Educating Daughters) by Majdi Fathi As-Sayyid. As in teaching them the meaning of Islam and its basic tenets. Another book that Hubby bought and hoisted upon me to read. I've skimmed through the contents. What it does not address is, "How do I get my kids to stop watching Nickelodeon, Disney Channel and Barney all day?"
   

I should be making a start on this list as soon as I complete the remaining 9 Sudoku X puzzles. Although some of them will probably be sidelined once my order from MPH arrives!

Little Black Dress Books

I've managed to finish reading all the books my friend lent me for my Confinement period, and I still have 22 days to go! Anyway, for the LBD books, I decided to dedicate just a single blog entry to the collective six titles (excluding A Romantic Getaway which deserves an entry of its own). I also don't want to spend much time writing the reviews. Too many late nights as it is!

Title: Right Before Your Eyes

Author: Ellen Shanman

This was the first LBD book of the bunch that I read. Nothing memorable, really. Something about a struggling playwright wanting to find love but keeps attracting the wrong guy. Being the artsy-fartsy type, she's looking for a bloke with a kind, deep soul, and obviously rich successful businessmen are the shallowest of the lot, right? Duh, how pretentious can one get?

And the framework is so 'Shopaholic' - the girl with financial problems struggling to make a break in her career, the rich, ditzy best friend, and the cocky rich guy who turns out to be her soulmate.

She does end up with the rich guy, who, despite his cockiness, appears to have a highly sensitive side and gets easily upset over some of the things the girl does. I couldn't care less about her, though.

Title: Accidentally Engaged

Author: Mary Carter

After reading this one, I was almost ready to give up the LBD books. It started off okay, about Claire, a psychic tarot card reader who gives a false reading to a soon-to-be bride who has suddenly got cold feet. The client leaves behind her engagement ring, so psychic decides to return it to the jilted fiancé. On the way she finds herself daydreaming about the man, but after an accident falls in lust with another.

The plot had too many twists and turns, with a haunted house, hidden secrets, long lost relatives etc. And Claire keeps harping back to her previous failed marriages (3 altogether) which apparently was predestined in order for her to meet the One. As one review said, the key to liking this book is liking the heroine. Well, I like my heroines smart and rational, not constantly moaning about ex-husbands while stringing along two handsome men. So this one, I didn't like.

Title: Hysterical Blondeness

Author: Suzanne Macpherson

A brunette decides to lose weight extra fast in order to snag the man of her dreams and signs up for an experimental drug. She gets more than she bargained for, when her hair turns platinum blonde. Suddenly her dreamboat notices her, as well as her previously platonic best friend/landlord. She almost ends up marrying the dreamboat until she catches him, on their wedding day, doing his brother's fiancee (who of course is a natural blonde). She finally realises that it's the best friend she's in love with all along, so several months later, her hair back to its real colour, she marries the best friend. The end.

Why I didn't like this? I don't understand how her other best friend, who initially seems really keen to help her ensnare the dreamboat, suddenly conclude that dreamboat is not worth it? And why the heroine, who otherwise seems so clever and witty, can act so silly?

Title: The Girlfriend Curse
Author: Valerie Frankel

Again, it starts off well. After discovering that her latest ex was getting married merely months after their breakup, Peg Silver finds out that she is the Ultimate Girlfriend - all of her ex-boyfriends end up marrying within six months of leaving her. And they all attribute it to Peg's giving nature e.g. her willingness to give blowjobs with coffee every morning, etc. She decides to change her life by leaving New York for Vermont. On the way, she meets a guy who claims he is the Ultimate Boyfriend - his girlfriends all split and meet other people - and they end up making out. Huh???

Anyway, Peg does not end up with this guy. She finally falls in love with the director of a self-discovery program instead. Although the idea of falling for an academic appeals to me, I don't see how he could appeal to Peg, except for his conversation with his then girlfriend that she overheard, where the girlfriend was complaining about his sex drive (NOT lack thereof). HUH???

Title: Hex & the Single Girl
Author: Valeria Frankel

Strangely enough, I quite enjoyed this one. Emma is a telegraphopathist - someone who can project images into other people's minds using her brain. She uses this talent for 'the greatest good' - to set up women with their dream men, by projecting sexy images of those women into their targets' minds. One day, she gets a client whose intentions are not quite romantic, but as she is in desperate need of money, she takes up the job anyway. Emma ends up falling for the client herself, but of course the path of true love never did run smooth.

I loved the secondary characters in this book, and Emma comes across as a genuinely nice person with a tragic background (and she doesn't agonise about missing sex as much as the other heroines), so this one I enjoyed. Oh, and the bloke's half-British, so there's another plus for the Anglophile in me.

Title: I Take This Man
Author: Valerie Frankel

This one is hilarious! Penny gets jilted at the altar, so her protective mother, Esther, clobbers the groom with a champagne bottle. Esther then decides to hide the unconscious man in a locked room in her mansion. In the meantime, the groom's widowed father, Keith, searches for the son, enlisting Esther to help him, and sparks fly between them. In the end, the bride and groom reunite, and Esther & Keith also enter coupledom (is that actually legal?). And you've got to love Natasha, the Russian 'house manager'.

So there, 6 reviews in one. I've noticed a pattern about the books I like and don't like.

Likes: Heroines with a tragic/semi-tragic background that does not involve ex-boyfriends/husbands/bad sex.

Dislikes: Heroines who seem to think about nothing but sex.

A Romantic Getaway

Author: Sarah Monk

This is part of the stash of 'light-reading during confinement' that I borrowed from my colleague. It is one of the titles in the Little Black Dress series, and is actually the third that i've read. But so far this is the only memorable one and worth blogging about.

The story is about two sisters, Liesel and Marilyn. Liesel is a 'serial monogamist', as she gets dumped all the time by men who cannot seem to understand that this gorgeous, attractive woman is actually keen on a long-term commitment. The elder sister, Marilyn, was left by her husband for his older and more glamorous lady boss. Together with Marilyn's son, Alex, the three live in a poky flat in London until one day Alex inherits an old hotel in Cornwall from his father's aunt. The three then move to Cornwall, where they have to run the hotel for at least a season, otherwise the ownership gets transferred to Godrich van Woofenhausen - a dog.

Despite the strange inheritance, the tale is actually quite sweet. Unlike most chick-lit books I've read, Liesel is not an idiotic girl with her head in the clouds. And the love interest - a vet who gets called in when Godrich literally finds himself stuck in a tight place - is not the typical arrogant, slick charmer despite his astonishing good looks. In fact the couple are just regularly nice people.

Most of the story centers around family and friendship, and the romance seems to be a secondary thread to the main plot. It got to a point where I didn't really mind if Liesel and the vet didn't get together in the end.

I did find the vet's character a bit flat, though.I felt more for the other characters - Eric the cook, Kashia the Polish waitress, Lorraine the housekeeper and my heart really went out to Alex who refused to wear anything but Superman costumes. And the old hotel and its surroundings are pretty impressive too.

All in all, a nice good read if you don't want something too heavy but can't be bothered with carbon copies of Becky Bloomwood.

One dialogue I find memorable, is when the vet appears for the first time, and an elderly couple who were hotel guests met him:

Wife: "Could you please have a look at my chest?"

Husband: "He's a vet, my dear, not a doctor."

Wife: "I know that, but I'd still like him to have a look at my chest."

Hand of Isis

Author: Jo Graham

I picked this up at MPH, Gurney Plaza, Penang when I was there co-emceeing a corporate function in March. And I certainly do not regret it.

The story is about Charmian, one of Cleopatra's handmaidens. The name seemed familiar to me until I recalled the Shakespeare play 'Antony & Cleopatra', where Charmian is one of the characters in the play.

This novel is mostly historical fiction, with a bit of fantasy thrown in. It is told in first voice narrative by Charmian, who is also the Queen’s sister, borne of a Thracian woman from the Pharaoh’s harem. Together with another sister, Iras, the daughter of a Nubian serving woman named Asetnefer, they pledge themselves to Isis and represent different aspects of the goddess – Charmian is sensual as Isis Pelagia, Goddess of Love; Iras is the wise and aloof Lady of Amenti who presides with Serapis over the judgement of dead souls; whereas Cleopatra, in her role as Queen and caretaker of the Egyptian people, is Mother of the World, with Osiris as a husband and Horus as her son.

The novel begins in the Halls of Amenti, where Charmian’s dead soul faces Isis for the weighing of her heart against a feather. She then recollects the events that have brought her there, from her childhood right up to the suicidal snake bite to escape capture by the Romans. In between chapters, the novel returns to the scene in the Halls of Amenti, which I felt was effectively done.

The story is based on real historical events and figures. The main star of the novel, however, is Alexandria. Graham does a wonderful job describing the sights and sounds of the city during its heyday, as well as the life of its inhabitants. As Alexandria was home to a great library, and was the ‘apex of Panhellenism’, the three sisters are exposed to the different branches of knowledge under the tutelage of Apollodorus, so together they make a formidable trio in ruling Egypt.

Charmian’s major role, however, is Royal Event Manager. Befitting her representation of the erotic side of Isis, Charmian also has a very healthy sexual appetite, and despite having a child and several lovers, never marries. She does, however, dote upon her own daughter and Cleopatra’s various offspring, and stands by her royal sister throughout her life.

In an exchange with the judges in the Halls of Amenti, the angel Mikhael speaks in her defence:

“You see? One may search far and wide on this earth to find an incorruptible
servant, but You need look no further. Any monarch that ever lived should be
glad of one like her.”
I turned and faced Him. “It’s not that I don’t
appreciate You speaking on my behalf, but You are giving me credit that I do not
deserve! There was nothing anyone could give me that I wanted. How could I be
tempted?”
“And what was it you wanted, then?” Serapis asked.
“The only
thing I have always wanted,” I said. “To be with those I love and to have good
work to do. And as for the rest, justice and mercy and those in need, I didn’t
do anything special. I just tried to be fair. I just did my best.”
“That is
all that the gods can ever ask of anyone,” Isis said.

To be fair and to do one’s best. Isn’t that true?

The Landower Legacy

Author: Victoria Holt

After coming across a copy of Judith McKnaught's 'Kingdom of Dreams' in the local Gurun Popular bookstore (a rare sight indeed!) and not buying it, I was sort of hankering for a bit of historical romance. I borrowed this book (along with about 7 chick lit titles) from a friend as part of my 'confinement' reading list. It's an old book, written in 1984, so I assumed it would be a la Barbara Cartland.

Well, I have never read Barbara Cartland either, and if that Grand old Dame wrote anything like this, I would probably give it a miss.

Don't get me wrong. The plot was exciting, with lots of events, but the narrative I felt was a bit clumsy and amateur. Here's the story in my words.

Written in the voice of the ahead-of-her-time heroine, Caroline Tressidor, the story starts when she is fourteen, just before Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee celebrations. Caroline lives in London with her philanthropic father Robert Ellis Tressidor, beautiful socialite mother and timid older sister Olivia. The siblings get very little attention from their parents, spending most of their time under the watchful tutelage of a governess.

A scandalous discovery about Caroline's true parentage sees her being sent off to live with Cousin Mary 'the harpy' in Tressidor Manor in Cornwall. Caroline finds Cousin Mary gruffly affectionate, an independent spinster managing the large Tressidor estate better than one expected of a woman in those times. She also meets and forms a friendship with Jago Landower and a crush on the older Paul, sons of the Tressidors' neighbourhood rival. She finds out that where Tressidor prospered, the much older Landower mansion is literally falling into ruin, and the brothers face the unwanted prospect of selling their ancestral home to the highest bidder.

After some time she is called back to London, reunites with her sister and discovers that her mother has also left with her real father, a handsome and dashing Captain Carmichael. With the help of their parlourmaid Rosie Rundall (who later disappears from the household), Caroline manages to attend a masked ball with Olivia. There she meets and falls in love with Jeremy, they get engaged and start house-hunting, only to be jilted by him when she is disinherited by the wealthy Robert Tressidor, who dies after mysteriously suffering a stroke. Bitter and heartbroken, Caroline travels to the South of France to visit her mother, who is missing the glamour and glitter of London more than her now-dead lover Carmichael.

This is where Caroline once again meets Paul Landower, who is visiting France 'on business'. Paul has managed to regain Landower. Her childhood infatuation grows into a more adult desire for him, and the feeling appears to be reciprocated, but Paul is hiding something. When Caroline's mother remarries a French perfumier and is happily thrust back into fashionable society, Caroline decides to go back to the only place she really felt at home - with Cousin Mary who of course isn't really related to her but still loves her dearly.

She finds out that Paul had gone to France upon Cousin Mary's request to look for her, and that he had acquired Landower by marrying Gwennie, the daughter of Landower's erstwhile new owner. Although they have a son, the marriage is an unhappy one, as Gwennie keeps reminding the Landower brothers that it was 'Pa's pretty pennies that saved the old house'. While Jago takes it in his happy-go-lucky Lothario stride, Paul suffers both his nagging wife and also the new resentment from Caroline, who becomes even more embittered that Paul was willing to enter into such a bargain.

Meanwhile, Jeremy manages to land his hands on the Tressidor wealth by marrying Olivia, who apparently had always had a thing for him. They have a daughter, and Caroline travels to London to attend the christening as the child's godmother. Jago decides to surprise Caroline by travelling with her to London, and here I began to assume that he was going to pursue her more earnestly, but on their return to Cornwall that did not seem to be the case.

The plot has some dark moments, with a mysterious mine shaft becoming a recurring feature, and the odd lodgekeeper Jamie McGill's prophecy that 'death always comes in threes'. Of course, they come in quick succession (does a stillborn baby count?). Then the story diverts from being a historical romance into a sort of whodunit murder/missing person/split personality thriller, and Caroline realises that she truly does love Paul no matter what he did, athough it turns out that he wasn't the one who did it.

And so the book ends with the Diamond Jubilee celebration of Queen Victoria's reign, with Caroline now happily united with Paul (but of course!) and foreseeing that her goddaughter will grow up to marry her stepson Julian. Jago also conveniently ends up with Rosie - have to admit I didn't see that one coming.

Well, there. That's most of the plot (there's an interesting bit about Rosie and Robert Tressidor that I left out). Rather inspired, yes, but at what cost?

As I said before, the narrative was lacking. Holt started off well, building the background of the Tressidor sisters and family, and she does quite a good job describing the houses and scenery of the different localities. The story is eventful enough to keep me hooked. But she's pretty lousy at describing feelings and events. Except for the childhood excitement and adolescent fantasies, there was almost nothing about her feelings for Paul, and you could hardly detect the shift from schoolgirl crush into full-blown love.

The ending was also too convenient. The whole missing person/split personality angle was done in very few words so felt a bit rushed. Almost as if the author was thinking, "Oh my, look at the time and the size of this manuscript! I'd better get my protagonists together in a jiffy and tie everything up nicely before my publishers scream at me for the twentieth time!" I would also have liked to know more about how her mother hooked up with Captain Carmichael. Maybe there's a prequel.

Well, I don't think I'll bother finding out too soon. Maybe I should have just bought Judith McKnaught after all.

For other reviews, read here and here.

The Queen's Fool/The Virgin's Lover

Author: Philippa Gregory

Double volume of the two Tudor Queens, Mary and Elizabeth.

The first book, The Queen's Fool, revolves around a fictional character, Hannah Green, who has the ability to see the future. She is taken under the wing of Lord Robert Dudley as his vassal, and placed in King Edward's court as the King's holy fool. Later, she serves Queen Mary, and is assigned by the Queen as a companion to Princess Elizabeth. All the while, she is forced to keep her true identity a secret - a Jewish refugee from Spain - to escape the Inquisition and Mary's increasing Catholic fanaticism.

The second, The Virgin's Lover, picks up where the Queen's Fool ends i.e Elizabeth's ascension to the throne of England. The Lover in question is the same Robert Dudley, who returns to Court as the Queen's favourite and Master of Horse, much to the despair of his estranged wife, Amy. It covers the early years of Elizabeth's reign, up to a scandalous death that causes Dudley to lose his exalted position at Court.

Judging by the thread of characterisation from previous books in these series that I have read (The Constant Princess and The Other Boleyn Girl), I felt that the author sympathised very much with Catherine of Aragon's lineage while clearly not too impressed with the Boleyns. Queen Mary, through the eyes of Hannah the Fool, is depicted as a good woman with noble intentions, but as a virtuous woman who married late, became obsessed with pleasing her handsome Spanish husband. Elizabeth, meanwhile, was portrayed from the very first page as a seducer of men, and although she is mentioned as being intelligent, she is also portrayed as a highly nervous young woman who had to rely heavily on her advisors, and sometimes ignored them when it suited her fancy - in this case, her adoration of Dudley.

The second book also plodded along somewhat, with the historical events mainly played out as just a background for the royal frolics and Dudley's talent for event management. Things only really picked up in the last third of the book, but by then I had begun to lose interest and was just intent on finishing the book so I could move on to other reading material. Despite my earlier statement, I think I'm ready to give Ms Gregory a break for now.

Shadow of a King

Author: Helen Hollick


This is the third and final book of the Pendragon's Banner series written about Arthur Pendragon. Written in a more realistic, historical manner i.e. no Merlin the Magician, dragons or swords in stones, it still makes for compelling reading.

The Arthur and Camelot of these series is set at a time between the Roman and Anglo-Saxon periods of Britain. In the background is also the transition of religious beliefs from pagan to Christianity, and these conflicts shape much of the events in the book. Several of the characters are based on the more popular version i.e Gwenhyfar/Guinevere, Medraut/Mordred, Bedwyr/Lancelot, although their circumstances and fates are different.

Arthur is also depicted as a less-than-perfect man, with his womanising ways and dark temper, and this results in some very awkward relationships between his various offspring.

The book left me interested to know more about British history, especially of that period. Maybe it's time I go through my bookcase again - I'm sure I have a volume available somewhere.