Author: Hasrizal Abdul Jamil @ Abu Saif
Surah al-Furqan, verse 74:
"And those who pray: "Oh Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."
This book, I think, is a collection of the author's blog entries and articles. He relates how he 'met' his wife, the early years of marriage in Ireland all the way to the current situation with 3 kids and living in KL. With reference to the verse above, he stresses that one must first strengthen one's own righteousness (Taqwa) before leading the righteous.
The author also cautions and admonishes young Muslims who prefer long-term courtships, and reminds that the period of engagement in Islam does not give the same freedom in relationship as marriage. However, he does so in an easy manner that draws you in instead of pushing you away, unlike some 'holier-than-thou' preachers. In between, he shares some points from various talks he has given, as well as the strange questions he sometimes gets from the audience ("How many times are you allowed to SMS your fiance?").
One can also easily relate to him as he is willing to share his own experiences, even his imperfections and mistakes. The author also shows his openness to Western sources of reference: John Gray's 'Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus' and Dr Miriam Stoppard get more than a mention. It is this openness that makes his material so approachable.
In some chapters, he reflects on his parents and his upbringing; in others, he shares with us his thoughts and doubts on his own parenting abilities. Some chapters are hilarious yet enlightening anecdotes of his offspring. In one chapter, the author is telling the story of Sang Kancil to his children, and end the story by saying how clever the mousedeer of Malay folklore is. However, his eldest son, Yop, reacts by saying Sang Kancil is bad, as the animal lies and abuses other animals to get his own way.
Another story that really touched me was when he was on an overseas trip and called home to speak to his family. Yop says that he misses his father, and while speaking on the phone holds a photo of the author in his hand. I could not help but recall how Nu'man apparently clutches my photo to sleep whenever I have to travel out of town for a few days (more tears here).
The book basically talks about our roles in the institution of marriage and family: as Husband, Wife and Parents. As he states, his perception of marriage:
"Melihat perkahwinan sebagai medan untuk memberi, akan menjadikan kita lebih memikirkan soal PERANAN dan bukannya HAK yang tidak berkesudahan".
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